Browsing the blog archives for August, 2009

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Lost and Then Found: Overcoming a Long-Held Fear

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Baby Boomers, Transformation, Travel

I hate getting lost. The fear of getting lost is one of those fears that I have held for as long as I can remember. Maybe it was all those fairy tales I used to read as a child, or over protective parents (I’m sure a therapist would have fun helping me sort this one out!) but the fear of getting lost is one of the ‘biggie’ fears for me. At least it was, until this past weekend….

Hamilton Ontario, source: John Piercy, Flickr

Hamilton Ontario, source: John Piercy, Flickr

There is an exhibit on at the Art Gallery of Hamilton (that’s Hamilton, Ontario), that I really wanted to see. The ‘VisiaItalia’ exhibit gathered Italian Renaissance Art from galleries across Canada to put on a rather impressive display. So my husband and I headed down to Burlington to pick up my daughter and son-in-law and off to Hamilton we went. Fortunately my husband was driving. We had never driven to the Art Gallery of Hamilton before, so to make sure there were no problems getting there I brought the GPS (always trust the GPS — well most of the time!!), printed out maps and directions from Mapquest, and had one of those yellow covered map books, and we still got lost. In fact, we ended up in the east side on Hamilton when we wanted to be an the west side of Hamilton.

Now, don’t get me wrong, I love Hamilton, Ontario. I think it is a great city and would have no problems living there. Its got some stunning attractions – a great waterfront, numerous waterfalls, urban walking trails, great parks, super sports teams (except for an NHL team!!), a castle, a cute downtown area, beautiful houses, fantastic malls and shopping areas, a Botanical Garden that rivals the best in the world, and a thriving arts and culture scene.

There is one thing about Hamilton, however, that sends the chill of fear down my spine every time I think of driving there.

Every time I drive to Hamilton I get lost. In fact, everyone I know gets lost driving in or through Hamilton. This is a city that both a GPS and Mapquest have difficulties sorting out – in fact it was following Mapquest’s directions that landed us in the wrong side of Hamilton (we should have trusted the GPS!!).

Hamilton is a city that constantly challenges my sense of direction – and generally wins. I’m not exactly sure why this happens. Maybe its because Hamilton is located south of Lake Ontario, and I’m used to being north of the Lake. This tends to be somewhat disorienting. Or maybe its all those one way streets throughout the downtown and surrounding areas. One wrong turn and you’re lost. Two wrong turns in a row and you are really lost.

Whatever the reason, I’ve managed to see more of Hamilton from dealing with being lost than I would have otherwise – and I’ve enjoyed what I’ve seen. Being lost provided us with a very pleasant drive through some really pretty parts of Hamilton this past weekend. We finally started trusting the GPS and, despite the fact that it seemed to be taking us in the wrong direction, it eventually led us to exactly where we wanted to be.

And that’s when it hit me – being lost isn’t always a bad thing. It’s not something to always be fearful of.

As long as you have your Plan B and are prepared to trust your sense of direction, or trust your maps, or trust your GPS, or trust that you will ask for directions, then being lost can be a good thing. Being lost gives you a chance to explore and to discover, and that can be exciting.

So, how do you deal with the thought of getting lost? Is it one of your fears? Or do you enjoy the challenge and excitement of being lost?

TTFN

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A Life Purpose, A Goal and A Plan: Three Steps Towards an Authentic Life

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Alternative Lifestyles, Baby Boomers, Lifestyle Design Skills, Location Independent Professionals, Transformation, Travel

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“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cheshire Cat.
“I don’t much are where —” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cheshire Cat.
“— so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

Lewis Carol, Alice in Wonderland…….

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I love that quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. In fact, I have probably lived that quote far too many times in my life. Movement became the benchmark through which I gauged progress in my life – as long as I was moving forward, I was getting somewhere and making progress, or at least that is what I used to think.

Then I started learning about life purpose and how to find my life purpose – that quality or passion that I wanted to center my life around. That ‘thing’ that I wanted to build a career on, or spend time studying, or spend time doing. That ‘thing’ would make me feel like I was accomplishing something with my life and not just going somewhere; anywhere!

OK, so I’m not the only person that is seeking to identify their life’s purpose. Seems that there are a few other baby boomers, and Gen Y’ers that are currently searching to define their life’s purpose.

There are numerous techniques that people use to explore and identify their life’s purpose. Many techniques involve answering questions, like the one’s below.

10 Questions That Can Help You Discover Your Life’s Purpose:

source: florindasdesigns Flickr, Cretive Commons

source: florindasdesigns Flickr, Cretive Commons

  1. What do you love to do, whether in your spare time or at work?
  2. What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughly enjoy?
  3. What do you naturally do well?
  4. What are your ten greatest successes to date (in your eyes)?
  5. Is there a cause about which you feel passionate?
  6. What are the ten most important lessons you have learned in your life?
  7. Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurred over and over again?
  8. What do you daydream about doing?
  9. Imagine you are writing your epitaph? What things do you want to be remembered for at the end of your life?
  10. What would you do if you know you could not fail? What would it take to achieve that?

There is another technique that I really enjoy using to identify topics that I am interested in, but that could be because I am more than just a little bit book obsessed. Try spending some time wandering around a large book store. What topics are attracting your attention? History? Architecture? Travel? Look for a pattern in what book topics attract your attention.

You can also look at the books you own. What topics have interested you enough that you have actually bought books about the topic – and spent time reading them?

And you can look at what magazines you subscribe to. What are the topics of the articles that caught your attention and you enjoyed reading?

Once you have all of this information collected, see what patterns you can identify, what topics keep popping up. These common interests and patterns will point towards your life’s purpose and will help you set life goals, help you design your lifestyle, or help you maneuver through a major life transition.

With your life’s purpose, a goal and a plan in hand, you can begin building your best life. Or at least that is what I plan on doing :-)

TTFN

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This article was originally published on my other blog Ageless Explorer, on July 17th, 2009, under the title Would You Tell Me Please, Which Way I Ought To Go From Here

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If You Are Trying to Achieve A Goal, Don’t Think of A Polar Bear

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Baby Boomers, Lifestyle Design Skills, Location Independent Professionals, Transformation, Travel

When you are trying to achieve a goal, like becoming a solo entrepreneur, or a solo traveler, or if you are trying to lose weight, or overcome a fear, etc., your brain can sometimes become a bit obsessive – unfortunately not always in a supportive way. Sometimes our brains become obsessive about the very thing we are trying to avoid doing. This phenomenon is referred to as the “ironic monitoring process”, also affectionately known by its acronym “IMP“.  If we are trying to, for example lose weight – we ironically become obsessed with thoughts of the very foods we are trying to avoid. If we are trying to, for example overcome a fear we have associated with becoming a solo traveler, we can become obsessed by the very fear that we are trying to overcome.

In her book, The Four-Day Win, Martha Beck describes this phenomena as “The Polar Bear Effect”. I’ve also seen it described as the “Don’t Think of a Pink Elephant” phenomenon. Basically, to experience how strong the IMP effect is, try this little experiment:

Are you trying not to think of a Polar Bear? source: Allie Caulfield, Flickr Creative Commons
Are you trying not to think of a Polar Bear? source: Allie Caulfield, Flickr Creative Commons

For the next 10 seconds, don’t think of a Polar Bear (if you don’t like Polar Bears, try not thinking of a Pink Elephant). Think of anything else you want to think of, but do not think of a Polar Bear or anything associated with Polar Bears for 10 seconds – no fluffy white fur, no coal black nose, no sparkling white ice, or frigid blue waters – for 10 seconds. Ready? 1 steamboat ….. 2 steamboats ….. 3 steamboats ….. 4 steamboats ….. 5 steamboats ….. 6 steamboats ….. 7 steamboats ….. 8 steamboats …. 9 steamboats ….. 10 steamboats.

Could you do it?? Could you think of anything except Polar Bears?? Or did you think of Polar Bears?

The ironic thing about the IMP is, that the harder you try to avoid thinking of a specific thing, like the Polar Bear, or your fear of flying, or food, the more stressed and anxious you become, and the more you think about the very thing you are trying to avoid.

Martha Beck has this to say about the IMP: “Trying to suppress something tends to cause anxiety, which makes the self-suppression more desperate, which makes the ironic effect much worse, which makes us even more upset…” The result is that the “more desperate and pressured you feel, the more intensively you’ll brood about (and potentially do) the very things you’ve sworn off. The higher the stakes, the worse the ironic effects.” (The Four-Day Win, pages 34-35).

So, how do we tame the IMP??
There are a couple of things that we can do to try to tame the IMP.

For starters, we need to become aware of how we are thinking about the behaviors we are trying to change.

Changing Habits

If you are trying to change a habit think of the outcome, not the habit. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, stop thinking about losing weight and begin thinking about all of the benefits you will gain by losing weight. The increased self-esteem, the higher level of energy, the more fun it is to shop, the more self-confidence you will have meeting new clients, etc. Letting your brain obsess about the positive outcomes is a good thing. Quoting the Law of Attraction: What you think about, you bring about.

Achieving Goals

If you are trying to achieve a different type of goal, for example, increasing the number of clients you have, or becoming a solo entrepreneur, then let you brain obsess about the benefits you experience by having achieved that goal – the fun you will have meeting new clients, the new lifestyle you will have achieved, the wonderful people you now know, etc. You can choose to obsess about how difficult it will be to achieve your goal, or you can obsess about how wonderful it is to have achieved your goal.

Overcoming Fears

If you are trying to overcome a fear, then there is another trick you can use, again thanks to Martha Beck. In her latest column for O Magazine (September, 2009) Martha Beck writes about the debilitating, powerless feelings we get from our fears.  The more we think about our fears, the more powerless we become, thanks mostly to the IMP phenomenon. However, if we switch those thoughts of fear to thoughts of love, we become powerful.

For example, suppose that you want to become a location independent professional but the more you think about it the more you start becoming aware of your fears. You can embrace those fears, acknowledge those fears and then work to overcome them. Which works for some people. However, every time you think about one of your fears, even if you are working to overcome it, you are still think about “fear” and all of the negative connotations and debilitating feelings that fears bring.

Try instead to think about what you love about the situation that is associated with your fear. Love is an empowering emotion that will help you overcome your fear. For example, if one of the fears that is preventing you from becoming a location independent nomad is the fear of being lonely and you find yourself obsessing over finding ways to overcome that fear, try this:

  • rather than thinking about your fear of loneliness, think instead of all the things you love about the idea of being a location independent nomad – the people you will meet, the communities you can be part of, the stories you will be able to tell friends and family back home. Think of how much you enjoy emailing friends and family, of the video emails and photos you could send. These are powerful thoughts that get the IMP working for you, instead of having the IMP working against you by escalating your fear.

Do you have any little tricks that you use to help you overcome the IMP and negate the “Polar Bear Effect”??

TTFN

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Alternative Housing for an Alternative Lifestyle

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Alternative Lifestyles, Baby Boomers, Lifestyle Design Skills, Location Independent Professionals

quebeccitystreetIf you are someone who is interested in enjoying the benefits of extended travel, but don’t want to give up the benefits of having a ‘home-base’ then there is an alternative housing style that might be of interest to you – cohousing.

Cohousing is not the same as co-operatives, where apartment buildings are owned by the residents who have their own individual apartments or houses.

Cohousing is more like a cross between a commune and a co-op.  It’s like a traditional village that is owned by its residents, only not quite.

With co-housing a group of individuals get together, buy a property and either renovate or build to suit their purposes. Every individual or family has a private apartment or house in the village that they use as their space. They also share common spaces, facilities and amenities.

Shared spaces, facilities and amenities could be a children’s playground, guest rooms, a fully equipped office, workshops, gardens/farms, arts and crafts studios – basically whatever the group decides it wants to have (as long as it’s legal :-) ).

Cohousing residents share responsibilities for planning, designing, managing, maintaining and participating in the day-to-day running of the development.  The residents become part of a sustainable, working community. A community where everyone knows everyone else and supports the other residents.

For location independent professionals and ageless nomads this type of lifestyle and housing design offers a number of benefits:

  • you don’t have to worry about your home when you are away traveling;
  • you could become part of a cohousing group that was formed around traveling so your non-traveling times would be spent surrounded by people who shared your passion and understood your lifestyle;
  • as a location independent professional, a cohousing community built around creativity or small business development could provide unlimited support and energy to your lifestyle. There is an Art Cohousing Community in Rome, Italy (http://www.artcohousing.com/) that seems to be offering units for long- or short-term rentals to artists interested in developing their talents (the site is in Italian and the Google English translation is a bit rough);
  • cohousing units can be ‘house swapped’ providing great opportunities for you to live in other communities; etc.

For Baby Boomers, the advantages to living in a cohousing community include:

  • you don’t have to worry about your home when you are away traveling;
  • house swapping your cohousing unit with someone from another cohousing community is a great way to travel and explore other countries without feeling lonely or isolated;
  • being part of a community of individuals who share your interests or hobbies, without being limited to just retirement villages. Although there are some cohousing communities that are age-specific, most cohousing communities are inter-generational;
  • you have community support as you age;
  • you could reduce your living expenses. Shared items, like laundry facilities, vehicles, RVs, sporting and fitness equipment, hobby supplies, business equipment and expertise, etc., can help reduce costs; etc.

The cohousing model is a recent phenomenon, with the first cohousing community being built in Denmark in 1972. In North America the first cohousing community didn’t occur until 1988.  According to the Canadian Cohousing Network, there are currently only roughly 130 cohousing communities scattered throughout North America, with most Canadian cohousing communities located in British Columbia. However, another 120 are currently in various stages of development and the movement is predicted to gain in popularity over the next 10 or so years.

More information on cohousing can be obtained from:

  1. The Canadian Cohousing Network, http://www.cohousing.ca
  2. The Cohousing Association of the United States, http://www.cohousing.org
  3. The UK Cohousing Network, http://www.cohousing.org.uk/
  4. The Fellowship for Intentional Communities, http://www.ic.org/

TTFN

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UNESCO’s 19 Creative Cities and Their Relevance to Creative Nomads

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Entrepreneurial Skills, Online Business, Travel
UNESCO

UNESCO

In 2004, UNESCO launched the Creative Cities Network, and has been building on this initiative ever since. But why is this something that creative location independent professionals should be aware of?? Let me explain.

The purpose behind this international network of creative cities is not just to promote these cities as great cultural and creative places to visit (which they all are, of course), but to encourage these cities to create policies and programs aimed at developing Creative Entrepreneurship, Creative Industries, and Creative Tourism. That is quite a task.

To be part of this Creative Cities Network, cities must adhere to specific policies defined by UNESCO. One policy that I found quite impressive was the following:

A key ingredient is the creation of public/private partnerships that help unlock the entrepreneurial and creative potential of small enterprises, which play an important role in the new economy. To underpin their development, small creative businesses also need innovative talent, and therefore cities with strong contemporary art, fashion, craft, music and design schools are most likely to flourish. The Creative Cities Network

And here is where the relevance to creative location independent professionals kicks in. If you are looking for a city to visit and are interested in finding a city that might:

  • provide you with creative inspiration,
  • recharge your creativity (see my earlier post on this topic),
  • provide you with some business contacts, partners and/or clients,

then you might want to have a look at the following list of cities. See if there is a city listed here that attracts your attention or is working to develop small creative businesses that are either based on your creative talents or are a great compliment to your talents.

At the moment, there are 19 cities that are part of UNESCO’s Creative Cities Network, with at least 20 more cities currently under consideration.

Cities that are already part of UNESCO’s Creative Cities Network, listed by the creative discipline they excel at, are:

UNESCO Cities of Craft and Folk Art
Aswan, Egypt
Santa Fe, New Mexico, USA
Kanazawa, Japan

UNESCO Cities of Design
Berlin, Germany
Buenos Aires, Argentina
Montreal, Canada
Nagoya, Japan
Kobe, Japan
Shenzhen, China

UNESCO City of Film
Bradford, UK

UNESCO City of Gastronomy
Popayan, Colombia

UNESCO Cities of Literature
Edinburgh, UK
Melbourne, Australia
Iowa City, USA

UNESCO Cities of Music
Bologna, Italy
Seville, Spain
Glasgow, UK
Ghent, Belgium

UNESCO City of Media Arts
Lyon, France

The cities above that are in red, are linked to UNESCO pages that have information about the city and the efforts being made to fulfill the city’s obligations in this program.

TTFN

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