.

.

Have you ever experienced a time when you were trying to manifest a significant change or transformation in your life and everything that could go wrong did go wrong? Add to this a nasty little imp called ‘Resistance’ and you end up with a frustrating situation where Murphy’s Law meets the War of Art!!

This is what my life has been life for the past couple of weeks.

For those who are unfamiliar with Murphy’s Law or The War of Art – let me explain:

Murphy’s Law states that anything that can go wrong will go wrong at the worst possible moment. It’s like when your USB memory stick develops amnesia right after you have finished writing three of the best blog posts ever in the history of blog posts!! Which, once you have picked yourself up off the floor after having collapsed to the ground in a quivering, whimpering heap, leaves you scrambling,  trying to remember those perfect ideas expressed in those perfect words and sentences. Yeah – not so easy to do!!

Or – just after you learn that you are probably going to need to have a new furnace put into your 100 year old house and have the slightly crumbling chimney relined to the tune of multiple thousands of dollars, one of the drains in your house (the one that takes the used water from your kitchen including the dishwasher and washing machine) breaks, leaving you without the use of your dishwasher and washing machine – the day before you have planned a family brunch!!!

And this is where The War of Art kicks in. With bills and frustrations increasing, and money becoming ever more scarce, resistance begins taking over vital systems in your brain. Creativity spins from writing to looking for a full time job. Thoughts of entrepreneurship morph into nightmares of punching the 9-5 clock.

But in the middle of all of this, a funny thing happened while I was straightening up some books. The book, The War of Art, fell out of a bookcase. I thought I had lost the book several months ago, but here it was. Loaded with the exact information I needed at exactly this specific point in time. Don’t you love ot when that happens!!

Picking the book up, I began reading a chapter titled “The Unlived Life”: “Most of us have two lives. The life we live, and the unlived life within us. Between the two stands Resistance.” Resistance can come in the form of technical mishaps, unexpected expenses, bills, frustrations, lack of confidence…..

The War of Art challenges resistance. Its funny, inspirational, and most importantly motivational – great for anyone trying to overcome resistance, to move forward with their life – to change, to transform, to live the unlived life within us. It was just what I needed to read in order to get myself back on track.

So, how do you cope with resistance, procrastination, and the other little imps that life likes to throw in your way while you are busy trying to build your authentic life?

TTFN

The War of Art: Breaking Through the Blocks and Win Your Inner Creative Battles is written by Stephen Pressfield.

~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~

If you enjoyed reading this post, maybe you’d like to subscribe to our RSS feed, or subscribe via email (enter your email address in the box at the top of the page, on the right) so you don’t miss any future posts. Thank you for visiting!

.

.

~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~

“Would you tell me, please, which way I ought to go from here?” asked Alice.
“That depends a good deal on where you want to get to,” said the Cheshire Cat.
“I don’t much are where —” said Alice.
“Then it doesn’t matter which way you go,” said the Cheshire Cat.
“— so long as I get somewhere,” Alice added as an explanation.

Lewis Carol, Alice in Wonderland…….

~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~

.

I love that quote from Lewis Carroll’s Alice in Wonderland. In fact, I have probably lived that quote far too many times in my life. Movement became the benchmark through which I gauged progress in my life – as long as I was moving forward, I was getting somewhere and making progress, or at least that is what I used to think.

Then I started learning about life purpose and how to find my life purpose – that quality or passion that I wanted to center my life around. That ‘thing’ that I wanted to build a career on, or spend time studying, or spend time doing. That ‘thing’ would make me feel like I was accomplishing something with my life and not just going somewhere; anywhere!

OK, so I’m not the only person that is seeking to identify their life’s purpose. Seems that there are a few other baby boomers, and Gen Y’ers that are currently searching to define their life’s purpose.

There are numerous techniques that people use to explore and identify their life’s purpose. Many techniques involve answering questions, like the one’s below.

10 Questions That Can Help You Discover Your Life’s Purpose:

source: florindasdesigns Flickr, Cretive Commons

1. What do you love to do, whether in your spare time or at work?
2. What parts of your present job or life activities do you thoroughly enjoy?
3. What do you naturally do well?
4. What are your ten greatest successes to date (in your eyes)?
5. Is there a cause about which you feel passionate?
6. What are the ten most important lessons you have learned in your life?
7. Are there some issues or perceived problems that have occurred over and over again?
8. What do you daydream about doing?
9. Imagine you are writing your epitaph? What things do you want to be remembered for at the end of your life?
10. What would you do if you know you could not fail? What would it take to achieve that?

There is another technique that I really enjoy using to identify topics that I am interested in, but that could be because I am more than just a little bit book obsessed. Try spending some time wandering around a large book store. What topics are attracting your attention? History? Architecture? Travel? Look for a pattern in what book topics attract your attention.

You can also look at the books you own. What topics have interested you enough that you have actually bought books about the topic – and spent time reading them?

And you can look at what magazines you subscribe to. What are the topics of the articles that caught your attention and you enjoyed reading?

Once you have all of this information collected, see what patterns you can identify, what topics keep popping up. These common interests and patterns will point towards your life’s purpose and will help you set life goals, help you design your lifestyle, or help you maneuver through a major life transition.

With your life’s purpose, a goal and a plan in hand, you can begin building your best life. Or at least that is what I plan on doing

TTFN

~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~

If you enjoyed reading this post, maybe you’d like to subscribe to our RSS feed, or subscribe via email (enter your email address in the box at the top of the page, on the right) so you don’t miss any future posts. Thank you for visiting!

.

This article was originally published on my other blog Ageless Explorer, on July 17th, 2009, under the title Would You Tell Me Please, Which Way I Ought To Go From Here

When you are trying to achieve a goal, like becoming a solo entrepreneur, or a solo traveler, or if you are trying to lose weight, or overcome a fear, etc., your brain can sometimes become a bit obsessive – unfortunately not always in a supportive way. Sometimes our brains become obsessive about the very thing we are trying to avoid doing. This phenomenon is referred to as the “ironic monitoring process”, also affectionately known by its acronym “IMP“.  If we are trying to, for example lose weight – we ironically become obsessed with thoughts of the very foods we are trying to avoid. If we are trying to, for example overcome a fear we have associated with becoming a solo traveler, we can become obsessed by the very fear that we are trying to overcome.

In her book, The Four-Day Win, Martha Beck describes this phenomena as “The Polar Bear Effect”. I’ve also seen it described as the “Don’t Think of a Pink Elephant” phenomenon. Basically, to experience how strong the IMP effect is, try this little experiment:

Are you trying not to think of a Polar Bear? source: Allie Caulfield, Flickr Creative Commons

For the next 10 seconds, don’t think of a Polar Bear (if you don’t like Polar Bears, try not thinking of a Pink Elephant). Think of anything else you want to think of, but do not think of a Polar Bear or anything associated with Polar Bears for 10 seconds – no fluffy white fur, no coal black nose, no sparkling white ice, or frigid blue waters – for 10 seconds. Ready? 1 steamboat ….. 2 steamboats ….. 3 steamboats ….. 4 steamboats ….. 5 steamboats ….. 6 steamboats ….. 7 steamboats ….. 8 steamboats …. 9 steamboats ….. 10 steamboats.

Could you do it?? Could you think of anything except Polar Bears?? Or did you think of Polar Bears?

The ironic thing about the IMP is, that the harder you try to avoid thinking of a specific thing, like the Polar Bear, or your fear of flying, or food, the more stressed and anxious you become, and the more you think about the very thing you are trying to avoid.

Martha Beck has this to say about the IMP: “Trying to suppress something tends to cause anxiety, which makes the self-suppression more desperate, which makes the ironic effect much worse, which makes us even more upset…” The result is that the “more desperate and pressured you feel, the more intensively you’ll brood about (and potentially do) the very things you’ve sworn off. The higher the stakes, the worse the ironic effects.” (The Four-Day Win, pages 34-35).

So, how do we tame the IMP??
There are a couple of things that we can do to try to tame the IMP.

For starters, we need to become aware of how we are thinking about the behaviors we are trying to change.

Changing Habits

If you are trying to change a habit think of the outcome, not the habit. For example, if you are trying to lose weight, stop thinking about losing weight and begin thinking about all of the benefits you will gain by losing weight. The increased self-esteem, the higher level of energy, the more fun it is to shop, the more self-confidence you will have meeting new clients, etc. Letting your brain obsess about the positive outcomes is a good thing. Quoting the Law of Attraction: What you think about, you bring about.

Achieving Goals

If you are trying to achieve a different type of goal, for example, increasing the number of clients you have, or becoming a solo entrepreneur, then let you brain obsess about the benefits you experience by having achieved that goal – the fun you will have meeting new clients, the new lifestyle you will have achieved, the wonderful people you now know, etc. You can choose to obsess about how difficult it will be to achieve your goal, or you can obsess about how wonderful it is to have achieved your goal.

Overcoming Fears

If you are trying to overcome a fear, then there is another trick you can use, again thanks to Martha Beck. In her latest column for O Magazine (September, 2009) Martha Beck writes about the debilitating, powerless feelings we get from our fears.  The more we think about our fears, the more powerless we become, thanks mostly to the IMP phenomenon. However, if we switch those thoughts of fear to thoughts of love, we become powerful.

For example, suppose that you want to become a location independent professional but the more you think about it the more you start becoming aware of your fears. You can embrace those fears, acknowledge those fears and then work to overcome them. Which works for some people. However, every time you think about one of your fears, even if you are working to overcome it, you are still think about “fear” and all of the negative connotations and debilitating feelings that fears bring.

Try instead to think about what you love about the situation that is associated with your fear. Love is an empowering emotion that will help you overcome your fear. For example, if one of the fears that is preventing you from becoming a location independent nomad is the fear of being lonely and you find yourself obsessing over finding ways to overcome that fear, try this:

• rather than thinking about your fear of loneliness, think instead of all the things you love about the idea of being a location independent nomad – the people you will meet, the communities you can be part of, the stories you will be able to tell friends and family back home. Think of how much you enjoy emailing friends and family, of the video emails and photos you could send. These are powerful thoughts that get the IMP working for you, instead of having the IMP working against you by escalating your fear.

Do you have any little tricks that you use to help you overcome the IMP and negate the “Polar Bear Effect”??

TTFN

~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~♦~~~~

If you enjoyed reading this post, maybe you’d like to subscribe to our RSS feed, or subscribe via email (enter your email address in the box at the top of the page, on the right) so you don’t miss any future posts. Thank you for visiting!